CROUTE AU FROMAGE BITCHES!

Lynsey!?!? You mean JUSTIN and Chris made them... putting Chris before me...

(I Love you dude...)

Anyways, you need a loaf of bread UNSLICED PREFERABLY, cheese (I think Gruyere or Swiss works), seasoning salt, white wine (FONDUE WINE), heavy creamer (fuck I have no clue what it's called), two frying pans and some eggs... oh and some olive oil. And you need sliced ham. A lot of sliced ham for that matter. You need a cover for the bigger frying pan, unless you want the floor of your kitchen will look like a Tommy Lee & Pamela Anderson video (hopefully one of you will get that after you read through the recipe and laugh so hard that you get a hernia).

Alright here goes.

Heat up the bigger frying pan. Add one slice of bread (you gotta slice it yourself... make it like 1" -2" thick), throw enough ham and cheese on it to cover the bread. Make sure the cheese is on top of the ham AND the bread, and put the cheese so that it melts over the side.

Hopefully you're smart enough to figure out that you need to have the pan somewhat heated, otherwise you're going to be standing around like useless fucktard watching your chunk of bread burn. Make sure the pan is hot. A good trick I know to test the heat of the pan is to take off the fire and smack someone in the face with it. If there is skin on the bottom of the pan, its generally considered to be hot enough to cook with. Others suggest a far more humane method of just dipping your fingers in water and then sprinkling water on the pan. If the water makes a noise similar to that of boiling skin, your pan is ready for cooking.

So, now that you have your bread, cheese and ham all ready and in the HOT (notice HOT) pan, poor a 1/2 cup to 1 cup of heavy cream (damnit... I forget the name) and wine into the pan. If the milky shit doesn't start foaming up, you fucked up hard core and definitely didn't read my instructions, which makes you a fucking moron. If that white shit gets out of the frying pan (which it will), it will burn your skin off and get on the floor. Imagine what your parents will think when the see big white stains all over your closes and the kitchen.

So now, let that shit sit and cook for a bit. Add more wine if you want, it'll make it taste even better. Crack an egg in the other frying pan. Make sure there is a fuckload of oil, because you are going to fry that bitch, or make it sunny side up, whichever you prefer. Cook the egg, as soon as it is semi-cooked, i.e. the yolk is still liquid and the white shit is cooked, take it off. Preferably, the eggs are done at the same time as the croute. Remove the lid from the croute, take the croute out and place it on a place, place the egg on top, sprinkle seasoning salt, pour yourself a good beer (a lighter beer, not a light beer, goes well with this... a la heineken. A Kilkenny is overkill, feldschlossen would be awesome even though it tastes like bear dick.)

Voila, Croute.

Chris, your thoughts?

Regards
Keyes